I never thought that I can fall into a depressed state. I’m a person with a positive outlook in life and always see things on the brighter side. I always have this cheerful disposition in life that even if problems occur, I can still smile.
But after I gave birth, I suddenly felt sad, I cry even at the slightest issue and worry even if it’s only inside my mind. Am I going through post-partum blues? Maybe, aside from that, I’m still adjusting to motherhood, things are so new to me. I’m not used to being stuck inside the house doing nothing. There are times that I feel like a slave because I’m breastfeeding Gwen, and she’s on me every hour or so. I’m left with nothing to do but just lay in bed too.
What’s making my post-partum depression worse is the fact that I miss my husband terribly. Weird, I know, because we’re together 24/7, but being married for 3 years and childless at that, I miss our cuddle and bonding time together, just the two of us. But with baby around and the exhaustion I get, I feel I’m neglecting my husband and not being able to take care of his needs.
*sigh* Good thing I was able to tell Jeff how I feel and he completely understands but I still feel bad. I hope this goes away soon because I don’t think any expensive material thing like a new phone, htc sense, can elevate my mood.